does this have a name?

[Caprice]

normally i wouldnt post something like this, but im out of ideas and id rather not pay money to see a counselor:

i have some problem in meeting new people. something recently happened in my life and it has caused me to lose trust in people, or rather, to be very cynical of them and any intention they have that involves me. i dont think its because im shy, because i have no problem conversing with people, or being...a good person? im a barista at my work (not starbucks) and i have to be uppity and welcoming to people, as well as give good personality to people when i make them a drink the way they want everytime. but when it comes to meeting someone and actually putting forth enough effort to get to know them to go hang out with them, i never do, and never will unless they strike a chord with me because i absolutely cannot trust new people. unless they be coworkers, or something that involves responsibility, in which case it becomes business.

but i bring this up because my girlfriend (who doesnt understand me, which is why i post here, with reason indicated above) everytime she takes me to a party her group of people are having, if forced to stay i just roam around the house and look at the cool things the person owns rather than converse with the people. because at first i would converse with them, but after having the "shoot the breeze, where you from, what are you doing" they seem to lose interest in me and move on.

idk, it makes me angry that i cant be normal. it always puts me in a depressed mood and i feel sorry for myself.

there, now you all know. anyone want to help?