does this have a name?

[viddy]

Originally Posted by Caprice

i think ive lost all confidence in myself after what happened as well. what happened is a very long story, and me, and religion. i dont think the smoke with ever clear. maybe in 15 years or so. and today! or yesterday rather. my girlfriend right? well, we never had the title of boyfriend/girlfriend. we were friends, and we became closer, and closer, and closer, until finally, we ended up just doing what boyfriends and girlfriends do together without having the title, even the physical part so you all know im not just, exaggerating. i asked her yesterday for the title. i wanted to be her actual boyfriend, i wanted us to be an actual couple. without hesitation she says its best if we stayed friends. she was almost, enthusiastic about it. i bursted into tears, because every person i apparently let into my life, i get close to. they end up giving me the raw end and throwing me through a loop.
im so sick right now with myself

Wow, that is truly shitty. When you thought your relationship was a certain way, whether is was spoken or unspoken, with or without the title, and found out she didn't think of it that way is truely aweful. I would feel exactly the same way. I think it's the "afraid of commitment" thing. She doesn't seem to like the idea of being attached for some reason, which is something that she needs to work out for herself. She obviously has something for you that's more than a friendship. Her actions of the last whatever months/years prove that. There just seems to be something keeping her from feeling comfortable saying that you're "together". Of course I don't have much serious relationship experience, so I can't say I'm an expert.

[Caprice]

no, i think youve got it there. youre right.

[wow, i forgot how great advice everyone has on these forums. its like. idk, ive been a member since the old forums, before we all had to register again. but man, no matter what ive gone through, moving out west for 8 months, 5 months living in mexico. its like, dirty is still there. the people who i guess take notice are still there. like, a travellers forum, an on the go, no dedication, no matter what forum]

but yea, i think your right viddy. personal problems on the forum again. but hey, if not you all, then who else.

[holden]

Hey Caprice,

So sorry to hear some of the details of your situation. That sounds like such a blindside to you. I'm sure everyone has a case of unrequited love, which sucks, but usually is clearly one-sided. but in your case, you were deeply invested and it appeared to be a mutual relationship. Afaikt, she's either being scared or selfish. No offense to her. But you shouldn't feel sick about yourself...it wasn't as though you were imagining things, she was clearly sending the signals.
I hope you can take some pride in expressing to her how you feel and despite the reactions of you both, you have both learned something fundamental about each other. It may be the tie that binds you stronger together. Or if not, it's better to find out now than years down the road.

-holden

[viddy]

I miss some of the personal connections you get out of threads like this. I feel like dirty has had far less personal connections in the past 3-4 years.