*ding* time for your head to explode

[cacophony]

conservative group thinks the bible is too "liberal," seeks to edit their HOLY FUCKING TEXT to make it fit their political agenda.

every time i try to come up with a joke about this i end up curled up in the corner, sobbing, with bits of brain oozing out of my ear.

[cacophony]

WAIT! i've got one! *ahem*


i guess they asked, "what would jesus do" and didn't like the answer.


*crickets*


yeah. i know. recommence sobbing.

[jOHN rODRIGUEZ]

I like it.

No so sure you'd want me in your corner though. I'll leave that to your imagination. I'm thinking Halloween flare and pizzazz(sp?) with a black light too.

[bryantm3]

I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: If anyone adds anything to them, God will add to him the plagues described in this book. And if anyone takes words away from this book of prophecy, God will take away from him his share in the tree of life and in the holy city, which are described in this book.

from Revelation.

[kagenaki koe]

prefer concise, consistent use of the word "Lord" rather than "Jehovah" or "Yahweh"

so make it more American and less Hebrew/Jewish? maybe it's more like an american remake of asian/european horror movies, change some of the names, settings etc....

[Sean]

I wonder if they plan to make corrections to things like Mary Magdelene being wrongly portrayed as a prostitute, or maybe even including the gospel she wrote which was excluded from the Bible by the Church, along with numerous others. Like Judas' gospel. But then again, that'd probably be adding to the "emasculation" problem the church has apparently been grappling with.

And I guess they'll have to entirely re-invent Jesus so he's not such a pinko socialist.

But I think the best potential thing to come of this is that Stephen Colbert may get himself added into the Bible.

"Last night, Stephen Colbert gave a “tip of the hat” to Conservapedia, a conservative reference website which wants users to identify “pro-liberal terms used in existing Bible translations.” Needless to say, Colbert agreed that said tome was too liberal. “After all, the Bible says Jesus fed the poor,” pointed out the faux pundit. “It should say, he fed the rich and let the loaves and fishes trickle down.” But the “best part”, according to Colbert, is that, because Conservapedia is user-edited, fans can “add” SC himself to the good book. “Nation, I want you to go to Conservapedia and make me a biblical figure!” he ordered his army of followers."

[Deckard]

Speaking of Colbert, I thought it was 'reality' that was meant to have a well-known liberal bias?

(sorry - best i can come up with)

[//\/\/]

i'm guessing he won't be portrayed as a zealot from a well-to-do family who enacted old-testament prophecies so that people would see him as their messiah? maybe his jewishness will sort of fall by the wayside too. A CHRISTIAN CHRIST FOR A NEW GENERATION!!!

[cacophony]

i had the same thought, that he will be a white american neo-con "christian" christ. a christ that attends church at a converted football stadium and gives sermons about how god wants you to be financially wealthy and slim.

[Deckard]

and he'll have great teeth.