Worst Film of 2008

[big screen satellite]

its only January and Empire Magazine has already put up a contender for worst film of 2008, and considering its predecessor, Alien Vs Predator, it appears the follow up is even worse

here's the review.... don't read it if you want to avoid some minor SPOILERS, but its not gonna seriously ruin your cinematic experinece knowing what is said here:





Review
As anyone who’s suffered through the horror of Police Academy: Mission To Moscow knows, it’s not uncommon for movie franchises to lurch downhill. But the Alien – and to a much lesser extent, the Predator – franchise has really pulled off a trick. From the majesty of Ridley Scott and James Cameron’s episodes, each entry has been almost exponentially worse than the last, to the point where this witless, joyless, pointless mash-up makes its predecessor, Paul W.S.Anderson’s Alien Vs Predator, look Oscar-worthy. And that’s not so much lurching downhill as it is plummeting off a cliff.

Anyone who watched Cameron’s Aliens might feel that there is a terrifying movie to be made about what happens in between the first facehugger attack and the point where aliens overrun the town, but AVP:R sure isn’t it. Instead, what we get is Hollyoaks vs Predator, as a group of annoying, one-dimensional teens spend almost as time moping about love and, ludicrously, lost keys as they do getting their heads punched through by snapping xenomorph jaws.

Directors The Brothers Strause – Colin and Greg – apparently got the gig, their first, because they’re such huge Alien and Predator fanboys. AVP:R would indicate that they’re fanboys of the Ain't It Cool talkback variety, guileless goons crowbarring in lame references (the hero is called Dallas; someone actually says ‘Get to the chopper!’) while emphasising splatter and swearing over the suspenseful slow burn.

Of course, both Alien and Predator were stalk’n’slash pictures disguised as sci-fi movies, but AVP:R comes on like a Friday The 13th sequel, where the emphasis is placed squarely on spectacular kills, including a nasty and distasteful sequence set in a maternity ward that may just be the nadir of both franchises to date.

Apart from a frustratingly brief glimpse of the Predator homeworld and one cool AvP face-off in a sewer, the creatures remain resoundingly undeveloped. In fact, this Predator is so astoundingly stupid – it covers up all traces of Aliens with a bright blue liquid that disintegrates everything, yet never uses it as a weapon; then draws attention to itself by skinning humans – that it seems there might be a purpose after all for the high-falutin’ title, and that this film is a requiem after all, a requiem for two once-great movie monsters, now defanged, neutered and buried by a couple of hacks named Colin and Greg.

Verdict
An early but strong contender for worst movie of 2008.



nice...

[GforGroove]

CLOVERFIELD....

Uffffff..yuppies running away from a monster in high heels...
Seriously if someone would mention the word "comedy" before i went to see it.. i woudl probably give it more credit.. IS HILLARIOUS, retarded and plain wrong.

[mmm skyscraper]

AVP:R came out in 2007.

[Stephen]

Not here it didn't.

I had no idea there could be a worse AVP movie than Paul Anderson's heap of dog poo. Surely these guys deserve some kind of recognition for their efforts? Perhaps the 'Uwe Boll Award'?

[qirex]

JUNO


the dialogue was so fake and forced I had to use all my power not to get up and leave after the first 15 minutes.

[holden]

According to metacritic.com, we already have witnessed some truly awful flicks in 2008, generating reviews of "universal disgust":

"Strange Wilderness" and "Meet the Spartans".

These look like absolute poo.

[potatobroth]

i think The Hottie and the Nottie has a 4 on Meta.

[the mongoose]

I think I got the winner right here.....hell, even the trailer is damn near unwatchable and equally unfunny.


Behold.....the "Love Guru" starring Mike Myers. Uggggh.

[sola sistim]

Originally Posted by qirex

JUNO


the dialogue was so fake and forced I had to use all my power not to get up and leave after the first 15 minutes.

WHATTTTTTTTTT!!
that movie rules.

[justy]

Originally Posted by sola sistim

WHATTTTTTTTTT!!
that movie rules.

Agreed. Ever listen to teenagers talking? Occasionally pretty stilted (and they struck me as very Minnesotan).