another year goes by...now what?

[negative1]

... and another birthday comes around..
yeah, another year for me...

i usually don't celebrate it.. and in fact
i took the last year 'off'... didn't feel like
working, or going out, or meeting people..
was just tired of everything.. work, girlfriend,
etc..

yeah, i made it to a few concerts, and this
year.. i slowly realized i would have to somehow
try to get back to society... although i do like the
idea of a 'non-linear' lifestyle, waking up when i feel
like it,eating whenever..etc..in fact, i'm usually asleep
all day, and just wake up at nights..

slowly i've started living a secluded lifestyle.. in the
dark. never opening the windows..keeping the windows darkened..
i used to have to go the bank once every couple of weeks,
but thats not an issue now.. the only thing i need is food..
that's it..i don't really have any friends or relatives nearby,
and i don't really call anyone, except my brother once in
awhile..

i brought a ton of my stuff out of storage last year, and was
going to sort it all out, digitize my music/movies/books/etc..
and i've been staring at it for 9 months now.. and only NOW
am i getting around to doing something about it..

i almost just want to get rid of everything.. i have too much stuff.
i got rid of a lot of clothes, gave away a whole bunch of old videogames
and books/laserdiscs...

getting old makes me realize how tiring it was getting everything
i thought i wanted....i guess i need new goals now...its not like
i need anything material...

and of course, what else happens the one time i decided to go out
in the winter? i met someone! of course she's a really nice person..
21... is a student, and works as a model in her spare time.. we talk
and text each other, and i feel like she's the only person that is
actually willing to talk to me, hang out, and inspire me..



funny when you aren't looking for something, and someone comes
along and blows away your expectations... again, i have no idea
what's going to happen, and where things are going to go.. or if
i'm even going to live in the same place (was considering packing
up and heading back to texas)...she sure is making me reconsider
a lot of things, i never used to think about before..

should be an interesting year, and maybe it's time
to return to civilization.. or maybe not.. we'll see..

later
-1