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Old 12-02-2016, 12:19 AM
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: living on a psychedelic pig farm
Posts: 514
Well, I really have nothing importants to say...
I found out this week I have cancer.

I've been diagnosed with Cholangiocarcinoma

I'm not looking for anything like starting a kickstarter or go fund me. I just wanted to tell everybody that you are a big part of my life. Listening to stories of people getting tangled in their underwear over relationships that had no real credence, and people jumping into the thread to keep the conversation going strong.

I guess that's not fair, some of the initial thread conversations may have had positive results but they were rare.

The best thing was all the great music I was exposed to on this board. Music that touched my heart. Gave me the courage find other music that moved me.

Pieces that moved me, led me to follow a thread of producers which more times than not led to new "gold".

So, in closing, I hope your memories of me are happy ones, and that I touched you in a manner similar to the way you guys enriched my life.

I am comfortable and accepting of my condition. Don't feel sorry for me, I am in good hands.

My advice to you, in times of discontent recognize that it is simply self centered fear, and then focus your energy on people who haven't figured it out yet and help them come the same realization.

Lastly, on a daily basis, if you are blessed enough to have a partner, grab them and hug them as if you would never let go. If you have let them down in the recent past, acknowledge it, and mean it. Ask them how you can make it up to them.
If things are great between the two of you tell them how happy that makes you and that you will do your best to try to make it last, but you realize there will be times you fall short, and you might not realize it, but give your partner permission to call you on it. beg them not to let your oversight fester.

God I'm rambling, its late and I am tired.

I'll finish again with this, I love all of you and you have brought me great joy. I hope in some way I touched you. It doesn't have to be a nice thought you have for me, an honest effect is just as meaningful, as long as its honest.

With great love, Blair
Old 12-02-2016, 03:20 AM
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Sunny Hawaii
Posts: 4,582
Re: Well, I really have nothing importants to say...
Well, shit. I'm sorry to hear that. Cancer is such a bitch.

I wish you well in dealing with it.
Old 12-03-2016, 12:51 AM
light at heart
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Stockholm
Posts: 966
Re: Well, I really have nothing importants to say...
I'm pretty sure you will be treated till you get rid of it. The medical science is awesome today. But you must not give up believing in it!
Take care and don't check out from here just because you need to take some medication 🙂
a bit of life a kiss of love in a tiny circle - o
Old 12-03-2016, 08:14 PM
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: living on a psychedelic pig farm
Posts: 514
Re: Well, I really have nothing importants to say...
Andrea, I wish it was as easy as that,

If I don't take pain medication, it becomes overwhelming and I can inter act with friends and family.

The meds are regulated. I basically get a steady yet moderate dose of narcotic to keep me comfortable during the day.

Its funny, I thought I would ride a narcotic cloud into the ether, but I find I can only tolerate the steady mild dose they give me.

The narcotics distend my stomach, make me constipated, and just plain uncomfortable if I take too much.

this is from a guy who could do a gram of heroin a day, just to get through the pain so I could work.

read the Wikipedia I posted.
the cancer is in operable because it has Metastasized to my liver, and that's virtually untreatable. The infection from the main cancer is in my system, which destroys the liver, sometimes slowly and some times rapidly. It can be treated with topical antibiotics, but once those are discontinued, the infected liver cells spread leaving poison it their wake, which just compounds every thing.

I hope that makes sense, and I appreciate the sentiment. But I would rather spend my time making peace to friends and loved ones before its too late.

I will live on, in your memories of me, no matter how superficial they may be, I am sure I had an effect on you, one way or another, either pleasant or I irritated the fuck out of you. both are valid.

I have created a face book presence so if anyone is interested in reconnecting, send me a friend request.

Can someone tell me how to set up a moderated message board?
Old 12-31-2016, 03:00 PM
issue 37
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: South Wales
Posts: 1,244
Re: Well, I really have nothing importants to say...
Damn. Only just read this.

I don't look in on here much these days. Even when I did visit, I seldom ventured further than the World forum (yeah - glad we succeeded in fixing everything) and I wasn't a particularly prominent dirt, so what I'm saying is, this comes prefixed with a great big "For what it's worth".

I actually thought of you last month. I switched from Android to iPhone and very quickly found myself tearing my hair out with iTunes wondering why the fuck non-cloud file transfer had to be so limited and clunky. And what came back into my mind? Probably a good 6 years since our last conversation? A flashback to that chap from dirty called 'bas' who was always trying to spread the message about how useless 'Crapple' was. And perhaps I should have listened to him.

Well I still ended up with an iPhone, but your comments did make enough of an impact to lodge in my memory. As did your position on Israel. (That shit will continue right up until the earth is swallowed by the Sun.) I won't pretend to have remembered much beyond that - but given that you and I were such infrequent conversationalists with each other and it was a fair old time ago, it's clear that your opinions and advice (even when delivered with 100% premium snark!) were never forgotten. Perhaps that's all any of us can ever really hope for - to be memorable.

Fuck iTunes. And fuck cancer.

I'm glad you've reached a level of acceptance following your diagnosis. I wish you maximum comfort and maximum love from all those who matter most in your life. Take care.
Old 03-19-2017, 10:43 AM
a small-minded madman
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: minneapolis
Posts: 248
Re: Well, I really have nothing importants to say...
Damn. I only check this place once a year, if that.

I am sad to hear of this, and don't even know your condition now that it's months past this post.

Cancer sucks, and it is inevitable that as this site get's older, we will hear of people either getting hit with such stuff or passing away.

I don't really have anything to say but back when we would all argue on here, you would always post some good stuff.
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