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#11
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Re: another year goes by...now what? - Observations about me/by me
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thing, and your mind says another! also, if a person wants to mislead you, it's hard to know what's going on unless they really want tell you the truth...so you end up getting hurt even though you didn't mean for it to be that way.... well enough of the past.. i know nobody's asking, because most people i meet have a lot more experience than i do... but i think it's interesting for me too look back.. SOME OBSERVATIONS: =================== this is probably going to be long (as i usually go on), and might not make complete sense right away.. but i have noticed a few things.. about me: when i was in high school, and college (a long time ago, like 2 decades!).... i never went out, never had dates, didn't go to parties, etc..[also didn't smoke/drink/etc..nothing wrong with that, i just never picked up those habits..although i do have the occasional drink now!]...so i spent a lot of time just observing people, in fact i still like to watch other peoples behaviour more than interacting with them... i also spent a lot of time reading, listening to music, watching movies, and doing computer/videogame related stuff.. i always had a lot of hobbies and interests to keep me preoccupied.. anyways, i ALWAYS wanted to meet women, and have dates/relationships etc. but since i was brought up with a very strict conservative background (i'm indian, and my parents had an arranged marriage)..so i never really had a chance to act on going out (i probably should have)... well as you can imagine i never was able to develop a social life (unless it was with other guys who had the same interests).. i was always the organized/analytical type too.. everything was nicely planned out, grades were good.. i thought i had it made, and would become just another cog in the daily life that people had... get married, settle down, kids etc.. WELL I COULDN'T HAVE BEEN MORE WRONG! in fact, once i graduated, i never did settle into one thing.. i never did meet one person, etc.. the more i planned out things the more things never went the way i thought they would.. with women, sometimes i tried too hard.. sometimes i didn't try hard enough.. eventually every girl i met always was 'taken', or had someone.... a few hundred times later... i got it and gave up... of course, just because someone is in a relationship, doesn't mean its going to go on forever.. but i never had the patience and was too concerned about doing things properly... pretty soon, i became more relaxed, and just realized it was better to have women as friends, and that's how it's been ever since...i end up having a lot more women friends (casual) than guy friends.. at work, going out, anytime.. i just 'click' better with women for some reason.. yes, on occasion i can make friends with guys.. but not too often..maybe because i don't 'hit' on them like other guys, or act in ways that make them feel uncomfortable, or rude/gross etc..i treat them special, but am always courteous, open-minded, and defer to them..maybe i'm old fashioned, but i also prefer more personal contact, that just texting/emailing/social online stuff (although i have learned to live with texting)..i will only call someone if they are ok with it, and are free to talk.. i'm average looking (i think), have slightly long hair, am in pretty good shape, wear decent clothes (upgraded my wardrobe a year ago)..and people tell me i look and act much younger than my mid 40's! so it's probably an attitude thing.. i always try to be friendly, approachable, and sarcastic/humorous.. i also seem to have a lot more interests in common with younger people, and i don't talk about career/money/cars/stocks/material stuff etc. like i hear a lot of other guys bragging about...(although stability is important at times).. most of the time women approach me, and start talking to me first (and most regret it later - ha ha!)...in fact with my current friend, it was exactly like that.. she saw me, and decided to start the conversation.. in my mind, i would have NEVER thought about talking to her, because i would have been intimidated.. but she has a nice outgoing personality, and talks pretty freely, so it worked out... as you can guess, i like conversations (and no, they don't all have to be about deep, complicated issues)..so talking and LISTENING have always helped me out..i know everyone's unique.. but i have a different perspective on a lot of things.. art/music/culture/society/etc.. so there's a lways a lot to talk about..and i love to find out about peoples interests, and their lives, so i am very inquisitive, but not too obtrusive or get too personal.. the things i think that some women appreciate: -------------------------- be honest/sincere.. about your age, what you do, your status.. you don't have to tell every little detail about your life, but about the major things.. are you married/divorced/have kids, etc? i've met all kinds, and sometimes they don't tell me those things! you would be surprised! if you're looking for more than a friendship, you need to know that they are single! also, you don't have to flatter someone constantly, and if you do, you had better mean it.. otherwise it gets old, and tiring..acting phony will only make you look bad once your real personality shows. have respect.. i know some guys come off strong, hit on a girl, get their number, use them, lie etc.. i can't do any of that...it's just not me.. i NEVER ask them for their number/contact.. until they trust me.. if they want my number, i give it out.. i usually let them dictate how things go, because i'm not the most experienced.. i know when to take the lead and make suggestions to.. .otherwise you end up being used/doormat etc.. and that's happened to me a lot (just being too nice unfortunately)... learn to communicate/interact .. easier said than done, you still have to be able to figure out when to say something, and when not too.. and yes it would be easy for me to hang out with someone, and overdo it with all the time on my hands.. so i've learned to be patient, and let things evolve, and not push for doing things all the time .. i do have a lot of ideas/inspirations/projects, to make our meeting seem fun/casual/interesting.. but it's a lot of work! but worth it too me... sure, women know they are beautiful, or get compliments.. but you can still tell them, or show them in different ways.. HONESTLY, looks can get your attention, but if they don't have a personality/intelligence it might not last that long..i know with my friend, her personality is just as attractive as her looks.. trust .. i can't tell you how important this is.. without this, and the other things i mentioned.. you really won't get far. until someone can trust you, you won't make any progress in the friendship/relationship.. and yes it has to be earned.. there were a lot of times i could have taken advantage of another person, but i didn't because i knew it would have been wrong... don't cheat on someone, don't hide things, don't mislead someone..you need to make your intentions clear or things will quickly disintegrate and come back against you.. ---------------- nowadays, i don't really try to plan too much about the future.. or what i will end up doing and how..i've been very fortunate when it comes to money/jobs/travel, and meeting people.. although yes, i've been used/hurt/and had issues, it's all a part of the learning experience.. every women i have met is amazing, and interesting in some way, you just have to make them understand, and feel that way, and if they can do that for you.. then you'll have a much more fulfilling time with your life, and theirs.. later -1 Last edited by negative1; 04-11-2011 at 09:30 AM. |
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#12
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Re: another year goes by...now what?
beautiful!
sounds almost computer generated ![]() your girlfriend has got a nice partner so it seems I wish you a happy marriage!
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a bit of life a kiss of love in a tiny circle - o |
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#13
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Re: another year goes by...now what?
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a long long time.. it tends to scare women away..(especially the younger ones, and a few older ones too!) actually, i think marriage is kind of an outdated institution, but that's a whole different discussion! later -1 Last edited by negative1; 09-22-2011 at 12:32 AM. |
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#14
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Re: another year goes by...now what?
well, time has been going by,
and it's been going great.. i'm starting to get out more.. even saw sunlight a few more times.. i've been taking a lot of video at night for projects (look for some with underworld fan mixes).. also, tommorrow will be a BIG day.. we're going to a very cool science institute that has nice futuristic, modern glass and steel architecture! and we are going to be dressed in some high style (well she is!)... can't wait to see how it turns out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! later -1 |
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#15
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Re: another year goes by...now what?
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UW0764 || Professor: "Underworld have never failed to disappoint me" || Yannick changed my avatar picture. |
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#16
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Re: another year goes by...now what?
tell me about it! .. it's hard though, especially when
she's looking like this (teaser shot): ======================================= ![]() there's a lot more, but i'll eventually post some links in the process section.. later -1 |
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#17
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Re: another year goes by...now what?
hmm... so no sex before marriage eh?
![]() however it looks like she is much appreciated sorry if I´m totally off topic but I can´t help thinking about Karl´s pain.tings right now Wondering how to Live Horny on Half the Money http://www.underworldlive.com/art/vi...ry.asp?DID=847 Lo-Fi in the Mornin http://www.underworldlive.com/art/vi...y.asp?DID=1268 and one of my favourites Im Running in Circles http://www.underworldlive.com/art/vi...ry.asp?DID=844 Quote:
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a bit of life a kiss of love in a tiny circle - o |
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#18
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Re: another year goes by...now what?
andrea,
i'll get back to you on some more thoughts about what you said.. stimpee.. check out the video i made with her under craft, i think you'll enjoy it.. ====================== http://www.borndirty.org/forums/show...163#post150163 later -1 Last edited by negative1; 09-22-2011 at 12:33 AM. |
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#19
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Re: another year goes by...now what?
She is indeed beautiful and probably makes every average woman feel worthless.
![]() Now I understand what you mean when you say your fears and insecurities don't matter at al when you´re with her. anyway I was at least sweet when I was one-year-old ![]()
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a bit of life a kiss of love in a tiny circle - o |
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#20
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Re: another year goes by...now what?
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but theres still a lot of fun things you can still do! oh,and here's the update to 100 more reasons for her.. ---------------------------- http://www.borndirty.org/forums/show...&postcount=141 ![]() marriage seems to be more of a contrived social convention due to religious reasons. i really dont see the appeal or merit of it in current society. later -1 Last edited by negative1; 05-05-2011 at 08:47 AM. |
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