this is what happened to me:

[Strangelet]

wow. all this time I thought I was the resident utah ex-mormon. pm me if you'd like to discuss with someone who *knows*

btw, I broke from the church about the same time, only I managed to do so before I got carted off to the dehumanizing experience of the mtc and the quota obsessed mission field.

How it played out for me is that I got my wisdom teeth pulled, my physical, my interviews, my hair cut and my mr. mac suit and then all of a sudden a break down not unlike yours took place in my life.

Later the bishop tried to get me to go back on the task and finish up my papers. I asked him what is the purpose of a mission, because I'll still consider it if its mainly about talking about beliefs and values with people and finding ways of improving people's lives. He said no. the purpose of a mission is to teach the gospel. period.

That was the last time I spoke to a church representative on a formal basis.

believe me, the hard part is over. And you are already proven very brave and heroic for walking away from something that is once embraced as the corner stone of one's entire existence. next is remembering what happened is not your fault and finding peace with those who will do their best to convince you otherwise.