uSeLeSs ThReAD #1 fewer forums, KOSHER THANKSGIVING and christians= hallowieners?

[bryantm3]

hi um this is a thread where we can talk about a ton of different things, if y'all aren't familiar with the concept.

but i have a few thoughts that i'd like to share to kick it off.

FIRST— why do we have so many forums? it seems kind of bizarre to me to divide our conversations up so meticulously. and it also prevents me from seeing a bunch of threads that might potentially be interesting because i might not be interested in the forum topic. i mean, we've got a sports forum, and i have almost zero interest in sports. but what if someone starts a thread on the history of college football in the US? that would be neat to me. or if in the interrupt forum, someone starts a valve games thread (pretty much the only video games i play these days)? it seems weird to me that it's divided up so much. why not about five forums:
-announcements
-underworld (includes UW moments)
-craft (books, film, art, music, sport, food etc.)
-world (politics, religion, philosophy)
-noise

to me i think it would be easier to get a lot of people in on the conversation, and maybe it would brighten things up a bit. we kind of seem to be divided by forum.

PLUS THERE IS NO FOOD FORUM! if there is a sport forum, video game, etc., why no food forum, religion forum, tarot card forum, anal experiences forum, etc.? i want to make a thread about making a kosher thanksgiving meal this year, and putting it in noise feels odd, because i feel like i'm not putting it in the right place. with fewer forums it wouldn't be such an awkfest.

so, about the thanksgiving. i'm sure most of y'all are familiar with both kosher laws and american thanskgiving, but if not, here's the gist:

KOSHER LAWS

• only terrestrial animals that have cloven hooves and chew cud (no pigs, camels, horses, racoons, weasels, etc.)
• only fish with fins and scales (no shark, whale, crab, shrimp, fanglyfish)
• no weird birds (turkey, duck, chicken, quail, is OK)
• no mixing of dairy and meat (you can mix fish with dairy, and you can mix eggs with anything because they're not dairy or meat— this is called pareve)
• meat has to be kashered (can't be a sick cow, humanely raised, ritual slaughter, salted, soaked and rinsed to remove blood)— i don't have to do this, you buy it this way.
• winemaking has to be monitored to make sure people don't mash the grapes with their feet (all US wine is deemed generally OK)

AMURRICAN THANKS-GIVVUN

• a big ass turkey
• dressing
• gravy
• sweet potato souffle (pronounced sweet pahtater shuffle)
• pecan pie
• or pumpkin pie
• cranberry dressing
• rolls, biscuits this kind of biscuit for those of the british persuasion

so basically it's a huge mixture of meat, milk and carbs. i don't in any way want to make this meal light or healthy, because it's not supposed to be. it's a one-time terribly artery clogging lovely mishmash of everything you're not supposed to eat.

BUT, i do want to make it a kosher meal. so it would either have to be dairy or meat, and the obvious choice here is meat.

the menu i've gotten so far is:

• big ass turkey
• dressing
• gravy (i don't have the slightest idea how to make gravy)
• fried okra (i've got the recipe, using whipped eggs instead of milk to stick the flour)
• some kind of pie or cake. i'm thinking of doing a pareve pumpkin cake a friend sent me. i was considering a pecan pie, but i would have to bake the crust myself because most pie crust contains lard. i could make it with beef tallow, but, seriously? that's just nasty.
• can't buy regular cranberry sauce because it contains gelatin made from pigs feet

and that's about all i've gotten so far. so any recipes that exclude milk would be greatly appreciated!

now speaking of pumpkin cake, fundamentalist christians (not all christians) love pumpkins, as long as you don't draw a face on it. then they get pissed off. why is this?

their explanation is that halloween originates from an ancient druid (or celtic, not sure how far back it goes) and that it is a pagan celebration. of course it is. but so is the celebration of yule, which they gladly partake in with garland and gift giving during the christmas season, and easter eggs and bunnies during the easter celebration, which was an annual festival of rebirth and reproduction.

why the hate for halloween? it similarly was brought into a christian holiday as "all hallows eve" and the following day, "all saints day". so why the hate for halloween tradition?

i have heard many christians (ir)rationalize that halloween is a celebration of witchcraft and sorcery, and children are participating in it. but i really don't think little susie wearing a cucumber nose and little bobby with a bedsheet thrown his head are out to cast spells on unsuspecting bystanders.

why the hate for this holiday out of all others?

and that ends my discussion prompt. feel free to discuss any of the above topics, or whatever you may feel like discussing.

[bryantm3]

nobody?

[jOHN rODRIGUEZ]

Nothing from me until you add Yorkshire Pudding and flan to the Thanksgiving lists above.

[jOHN rODRIGUEZ]

oh and gravy's easy. Just add flour to the drippings from your baked bird. Start with a table spoon flour constantly stirring the drippings that have been poured into a seperate sauce pan over medium heat. Gradually add teaspoons of flour until your gravy reaches the consistency you desire. Again, constant stirring is required.

Sorry to mention flan, I missed the non-dairy part. That's WEIRD!! Anyways, sweet tamales in that case.

UMM, as far as the rest. My favorite arguement, which I believe I have addressed here before is whether Jesus was a witch to begin with. I mean, the dude turned stone into bread and then made them drink his blood... or wait, he did turn that into wine first so.......OMG!!! now we're boarding on vampires..... I scare myself sometimes. Just kidding, nothing scares me.

[stimpee]

We used to have a food forum. Dont you remember it? It got a few dozen threads and then people ran out of steam and didnt bother with it anymore. I dont get why youre asking why there are so many sub-forums, and then requesting the creation of new ones. Judging from your last few posts i'd say that you just read a book/saw something on TV/read something on the net about religious food preparation...

[bryantm3]

i wasn't really 'asking' for a food forum, more than i was saying 'yeah, but why don't we have etc. if we have this; we should can a lot of the forums to make posts easier to find'.

as for kosher cooking goes, it's a twofold thing. this year is the first thanksgiving dinner i am going to prepare entirely, plus i have started keeping kosher. so i've got a lot to do. and it's going to be fun. even if it does turn into a disaster.

[bryantm3]

Originally Posted by jOHN rODRIGUEZ

UMM, as far as the rest. My favorite arguement, which I believe I have addressed here before is whether Jesus was a witch to begin with. I mean, the dude turned stone into bread and then made them drink his blood... or wait, he did turn that into wine first so.......OMG!!! now we're boarding on vampires..... I scare myself sometimes. Just kidding, nothing scares me.

he turned stone into bread??

[ThingInABook]

i don't celebrate thanksgiving and halloween. xmas down here has watermelons and sun.

so your point isn't valid, sorry.

[jOHN rODRIGUEZ]

Originally Posted by bryantm3

he turned stone into bread??

Bad humor? Things that make you go, "hmmm".

Oh yeah, and about that gravy. You'll need to strain the baked bird drippings into a seperate sauce pan. I think I missed including that step.

[stimpee]

Originally Posted by bryantm3

he turned stone into bread??

Even Daivd Blaine didnt do that shit.