wow. sorry to hear you had to go through, but maybe it will help you in the long run.
the descriptions you shared about no one listening to you, is quite similar to how cult members are broken down. when every thought is questioned, and every moment is spent with someone tell you the opposite of what you feel, it typically doesn't take long to have a cognitive break down. add to that, the idea that you are a failure if you don't endure the mental pain and you have a real problem.
again, glad you were able to think what was best for you. something you mentioned above but that I wasn't too clear about
: were the other members being hypocrits in terms of girlfriends?