Quote:
Originally Posted by cacophony
let me clarify my point.
at week 20 of a high risk pregnancy, my husband was diagnosed with gestational hypertension. at week 25 his kidneys began to shut down and he was put on medication to control the raised blood pressure in the hopes of saving both his kidneys and his babies. at week 30 his pressure began to rise again and his risk of stroke increased significantly. his medication, which is not fully tested on the effects on fetuses, was increased. at week 33 while doing an audible non-stress test he heard the sound of one of the babies' heartbeats slow, then stop, then start again. that's when he received the news that the hypertension, which could quite possibly kill him, might be destroying the babies' shared placenta. he was rushed to the hospital where he tested positive for preeclampsia, a potentially fatal condition brought on by pregnancy. he was then pumped so full of magnesium sulfate that he was barely coherent, and he had two shots of steroids in his hips to help develop the premature babies' lungs. see, this happened because there was a very clear set of options: carry the babies to term and have a nearly guaranteed date with seizures and liver failure, or deliver two premature babies at 33 1/2 weeks in the hopes that they could survive without encountering one of a dozen life threatening conditions that are part and parcel of arriving almost 2 months early. and when they were delivered, he didn't get to hold them. they were taken away to the neonatal intensive care unit and he was kept bedridden for the next 24 hours, unable to see his babies while the preeclampsia was closely monitored. during this time his liver very nearly shut down.
no wait. that didn't happen to my husband. that happened to me. because i'm a woman and between the two of us i'm the only one with the physical ability to carry a baby and nearly die in the process.
so no, you don't carry a whisper of a dream of a fantasy of the responsibility of pregnancy that a woman carries.
and when you preach your noble stance on men sharing the burden of pregnancy i have to roll my eyes. because good for you, buddy. you be noble and stand there while the woman in your life submits her body either willingly or unwillingly to something that will change her forever. you preach your philosophy about life and the dependency of an embryo on its mother's environment and you make it a political or moral thing. because it's easy, for you. you're never ever EVER going to face the decision or the responsibility or the risk or the consequences a woman will face. bearing the emotional and financial burden are great, both parents do that. but only she bears the physical burden.
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was just gonna make fun of the wording
something like 'notion of a concept of a sparkle of a dust mote of a glint of a tremulous utterance of a-"
and so on.
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then of course about how having kids is way easy for guys like me we just have to concentrate on our gut real hard.