Some lyrics of mine...
 

I wrote some lyrics for my latest track (which will soon be available online probably) and was wondering what people thought... enjoy (?)

Riding on Empty

Section 1

Riding on empty baby
Climbing the stairway maybe
You can find
Yourself.

Search in the broken shards
Look for a fallen star
Amidst
The ruin.

Riding on empty shards
Climbing the stairway star
Amidst
Yourself.

Search in the broken baby
Look for a fallen maybe
You can find
The ruin.

Section 2

Smoke in the forest
Fire on the underground
Dog bark girl sing happily
Down and down and down.
(repeat)

Section 3

robo dog dream dog bathroom floor dog
deliver the goods and youll be a happy dog

shadow smoke dread smoke lock the door smoke
a little bag of goodies on the dubside smoke



Any feedback (I realise it kinda needs the music though...)

Re: Some lyrics of mine...
 

Nice way to start off your dirty.org stay with something creative.

Re: Some lyrics of mine...
 

needs more cowbell

Re: Some lyrics of mine...
 

Nice Underworld vibe to these words! could fit 'em to Born Slipp.Nuxx, methinks!

NUXX: "drive boy dive boy dirty numb angel boy"
R.O.E.:"robo dog dream dog bathroom floor dog"

And the references to shadows and smoke is very "Pearl's Girl"! :D
Anyway, these are the songs i "heard" when reading your lyrics! Must have U/W on the brain, for some reason!
Thanks for sharing!

Re: Some lyrics of mine...
 

Yeah must admit I was probably thinking of the beat of Born Slippy Nuxx when I wrote that, its just such a cool song! I'm just experimenting with different styles of writing lyrics and also lots of Underworld listening, so I guess it was inevitable. A lot of it is influenced by the writing of Jeff Noon, wonderful novelist that he is.

Thanks for comments guys :)

Re: Some lyrics of mine...
 

Running on empty...

Re: Some lyrics of mine...
 

Poetic licence, to be fair.

Running on empty is run-of-the-mill. Riding on empty has an edge to it.

Good rhythm. Nice work. Keep it up. :)

Re: Some lyrics of mine...
 

ah.... what kind of music are you doin' lyrics to?
TECHNO?
:rolleyes:

Re: Some lyrics of mine...
 

I think they're pretty good lyrics, BUT section 3 makes me think too much of Born Slippy. I'm not saying you should change that, but maybe you could be a little more original? Although, that sounds weird, because overall, the lyrics are pretty original and I would be interested in hearing it with the music.

Re: Some lyrics of mine...
 

Yes, pretty good lyrics... section 3 makes me also think to a song by Yello (in "Who's Gone?", cd Baby, 1991) speaking a lot about a certain... Robo ;)