Dirty Forums - joke time!

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- - joke time! (https://www.borndirty.org/forums/showthread.php?t=10492)

did you hear about the man who didn't like baby horses?

he didn't suffer foals lightly :D

what do vegan zombies eat?

GRAAAAINSSSSS!!!

Cowboy walks into a German car showroom, and says... "Audi!"

A husband and wife came for counseling after 20 years of marriage. When
> asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful
> tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 20 years they had
> been married.
>
> She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness,
> loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire list of un-met
> needs she had endured over the course of their marriage. Finally, after
> allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist
> got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand,
> embraced and kissed her passionately as her husband watched with a
> raised eyebrow.
>
> The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze. The
> therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs
> at least three times a week. Can you do this?" The husband thought for
> a moment and replied, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and
> Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I golf ."

A young boy comes home all excited and shouts to his dad.."I've got a big part in the school play!!"
Dad says..."Hey that's great son! What's the part?"
Kid says "I play a husband who has been married for 20 years!"

Dad says :Ah well that's ok son.....perhaps you'll get a speaking part next year"