chuck
03-01-2010, 02:52 AM
Dear IOC.
At the next winter olympics can you make up some more events that involve flames, explosions and sonic booms. That would keep the athletes warm, and make for more exciting TV. At the very least, can we launch the 4-man bobsleigh teams from like a rail-gun or something. It's not healthy looking at all that ass. Just bolt the fat boys in - fire them out the cannon, and start the clock.
Also, in that Nordic Combined event, can they do the 1000km cross-country skiing first, then without changing their skis or stopping, go straight across the finish line into the ski-jump section. The landings would thus be far more interesting IMHO.
Possibly add in a "shooting section" mid-jump, you know where they had to aim and hit a target towed behind a helicopter or something. Or insist on an aerial option, with points for difficulty - like in the diving. I think you'll find an arrangement like that would mean more fans of Jackass! would watch the Nordic Combined.
Although Nordic Combined as it currently exists makes absolutely no fucking sense at all - I do think you might be onto something by combining random events into seemingly continuous "sporting" sequences.
Super-G-downhill-snow-pipe-jetski-ice-dancing?
Curling-luge-snowmobile-cross?
Seriously, get those X-games types involved - to really mess with everyone's heads.
Finally, randomly locking the start gates without telling the snow boarders or the skiers which one is locked, is an excellent way to make the races more competitive. Oh how I laughed when that French snowboarder almost knee-capped himself when his gate jammed. He was ROFLing as well - especially when the race wasn't re-run. He understood that as long as sport (or a Canadian) is the winner on the day, then it's all OK.
On the plus side - the costumes and lycra are ace. The medals were freaking huge - can they be made even bigger next time - like Flavor Flav's clock-size maybe??
The hockey was great, but more fights would be better.
Thanks for listening.
Chuck
At the next winter olympics can you make up some more events that involve flames, explosions and sonic booms. That would keep the athletes warm, and make for more exciting TV. At the very least, can we launch the 4-man bobsleigh teams from like a rail-gun or something. It's not healthy looking at all that ass. Just bolt the fat boys in - fire them out the cannon, and start the clock.
Also, in that Nordic Combined event, can they do the 1000km cross-country skiing first, then without changing their skis or stopping, go straight across the finish line into the ski-jump section. The landings would thus be far more interesting IMHO.
Possibly add in a "shooting section" mid-jump, you know where they had to aim and hit a target towed behind a helicopter or something. Or insist on an aerial option, with points for difficulty - like in the diving. I think you'll find an arrangement like that would mean more fans of Jackass! would watch the Nordic Combined.
Although Nordic Combined as it currently exists makes absolutely no fucking sense at all - I do think you might be onto something by combining random events into seemingly continuous "sporting" sequences.
Super-G-downhill-snow-pipe-jetski-ice-dancing?
Curling-luge-snowmobile-cross?
Seriously, get those X-games types involved - to really mess with everyone's heads.
Finally, randomly locking the start gates without telling the snow boarders or the skiers which one is locked, is an excellent way to make the races more competitive. Oh how I laughed when that French snowboarder almost knee-capped himself when his gate jammed. He was ROFLing as well - especially when the race wasn't re-run. He understood that as long as sport (or a Canadian) is the winner on the day, then it's all OK.
On the plus side - the costumes and lycra are ace. The medals were freaking huge - can they be made even bigger next time - like Flavor Flav's clock-size maybe??
The hockey was great, but more fights would be better.
Thanks for listening.
Chuck